Rules for a 1-night stand

• Shower; Lift your sack, spread your cheeks. Wash and rinse thoroughly. Nobody wants to smell reminders of the last 24 hours while they're going down.
  
• Shave your face, clip your nails, and trim your pubes. If you're a shaver or waxer, do it. Stubble is damaging to the skin, especially down there.
  
• Just because she just had her face in your lap doesn't give you leeway to fart under the covers.
• Keep your fingers, tongue and cock out of her ass unless she asks for it.
• Condoms go in the trash or toilet, not on the floor next to the bed, where roving pets can ingest them.
• Don't poo at her place. Ever. You don't want to break the mystique.
  
• Don't drink too much, as it hinders your performance. And she'll resent having to clean up chunks in her bathroom sink. And you'll be known to everyone she knows as "Whiskey Dick".
  
• No hickeys or bruises. Physical reminders are not always welcome.
• No spanking unless she asks.
• Lick your fingers before insertion or rubbing.
• Don't get comfortable; you're not sleeping over.
• Don't pick your nose, ass, or zits while she's watching.
• Under no circumstances should you ever blurt out the words "I love you".
• Don't ask her to make you a sandwich, or fetch you a glass of anything.
• Be gentle. Don't take your agressions out on her poor cervix.
• Compliment what she does. Positive reinforcement goes a long way.
• Don't yell or moan too loudly. She doesn't want to have to explain anything to her roommates, or look embarassed in front ot her neighbors.

What are your rules?

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