Understanding Guys: A Primer

He says: "Woud you like to go out with me on Friday?"
He means: "Let's fuck."

He says: "I really like you. You're beautiful, intelligent, funny, sophisticated, and you're an excellent cook. I really enjoy being with you."
He means: "I just want to fuck you. Nothing more, nothing less."

He says: "I'd like to get to know you better. There's a lot more to you that I think would be fascinating to explore."
He means: "Like, in the biblical sense. Get it? Like, 'fuck'."

He says: "Let's just stay in and watch a movie tonight."
He means: "Let's just stay in and fuck."

He says: "Let's go there this weekend. It would be a great opportunity for us to spend some quality time together. Plus, there are some great places on the way that we could check out together."
He means: "Pack the lube, baby; it's friction time!"

He says: "I think I could really fall for you. You make me want to be a better person, and I've never felt this way about anyone before."
He means: "Yeeeaah.... Um, have I mentioned the fucking?"

He says: "I know you've had a rough day. Tell you what: come over, I'll make dinner, and we can spend the night cuddling."
He means: "Bring that box of condoms, 'cuz nothing says "I care for you" like some deep dicking!"

He says: "Of course I understand you. You mean the world to me."
He means: "How much longer 'til we can fuck? Like, rough estimate."

He says: "A relationship isn't what I want right now. But you're a wonderful woman for whom I have the utmost respect, and I'd really, truly, like for us to be friends."
He means: "We can still fuck, right?"

{months later}

He says: "I miss you."
He means: " I miss fucking you."

Ed. note: Make sure to click on the link below that says "no non-blogger comments yet", 'cuz that's also where some great feedback is.