Pledge
After the infamous Sascrotch™ encounter, I made a pledge to myself a month ago that I wasn't going to shave my armpits or other things until the next occasion upon which there's at least the possibility of decent-to-fantastic sex for me on the horizon. I mean, why waste the effort again, right?
Anyone care to place bets on how long this will last? How long will it grow: 1/4 inch? 1/2 inch? Whaddya say?
posted by Avatar at 11:10 AM
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21 Comments:
Ooooh, be careful...Did you see "The Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill"? He vowed not to cut his hair until he found a girlfriend, and at the taping of the documentary, his hair was down to his waist...but it has a happy ending, and I'm sure your "tale" will, too.
9/9/05 11:28 AM
OK, my secret hypocracy. I can deal with hair, it's not that big of a deal, except on the legs and armpits of a woman. I have to say though my origins are European, I do love the fact that American women shave the arm pits and legs.
9/9/05 11:31 AM
Depends...I have to believe that one come hither look from you and a hundred Chivalous boys will line up and volunteer to quench any dry spell.
To be mathematical, I also expect that any number of guys, N, would aggree to end said dry spell in the face of even luxuriant pubic hair growth in all aforesaid regions. The postulate then, is that for any given number of Men, N, where N is an arbitrarily large number, the probability P that they would do you even with a density of pubic hair growth H, where H is the number of one inch or greater pubic hairs per square inch, and also is arbitrarily large, asymtoticaly approaches 1 over time t, with a very fast convergence.
In an arbitrarily large number of men, N, the number of acceptable sex partners must also be arbitrarily large. Hence, the probability of Avatar getting laid, PAL, must converge to 1 very quickly, even if your armpit hair is falling out of your shirt sleeve like a stringy mongolian beard.
Thus, the real question is, what is the time frame T in which you will find a man that is so desirable by you that you are unwilling to even entertain a vanishingly small probability that he will refuse you in the face of a Taliban like beard gracing your other wise peachy and delectalbe labia.
Yes, that is the question properly formed. On that, it depends how often you find a guy that truly makes you swoon with uncontrollable passion. Answer that, and I can make a bet...
9/9/05 11:34 AM
Look, man. I'm a heterosexual guy and I can't go that long without a little trim work. :)
9/9/05 11:56 AM
I wonder if George Clooney is available to be hired here, and if he would be acceptible. Otherwise, the probability mass is still 1 at it's max (sorry).
The Hawthorne Affect worries me more. If I had real money riding on my hair growing an inch, and i was 27, I might be inclined to go for the cash, and just hang with a vibrator.
Hmmmm, no bet.
Besides, I don't wish abstinence on anyone, not even a Republican.
9/9/05 12:28 PM
You are braver than I. The longest I've been is two and a half weeks only with the legs. I have to shave my arm pits at least two to three times a week.
I say you can make it longer than two weeks though. Perhaps a month. If you go longer, I'll send you a trophy in the mail.
9/9/05 12:54 PM
until you visit Washington D.C. ;)
9/9/05 1:44 PM
Oh, once it gets past the prickly stage (1/4 inch, maybe) why shave again at all? Don't get me wrong, I don't have a preference for long, short, or none, but really -- unless I'm just really, really out of it -- it's not that big a deal for guys.
In your case, though, I hope you meet someone right for you before you've even got a five o'clock shadow.
Take care,
figleaf
9/9/05 4:10 PM
Oh I guess every woman is different. I dont care if I ever get laid again (actually that's an absolute lie) but I gotta shave or perferably get waxed.
Good luck on getting some good action!
9/9/05 6:47 PM
Yeah, save the pain for special occasions. I'm putting $5 on 1/4"!!
9/9/05 9:49 PM
OY! This can't be good. If you start losing prospective candidates for pussy king, you must promise to abort this mission immediately.
9/9/05 10:13 PM
The scary thing is - you may actually increase prospective candidates by not shaving rather than losing them (as suggested by bullet proof diva). Be interesting to hear how this turns out. Do keep us apprised....
9/10/05 1:37 AM
I get the same way as you with my facial hair, but because I'm a guy, people assume that I am purposely growing my hair out instead of being too lazy to cut it. My bet is on 1/4"
9/10/05 11:40 AM
ooh, if I did that I would end up looking like Cousin It. Don't do it Avatar!
9/10/05 1:45 PM
new reader...you're stuff is great. and by stuff, i don't mean your pubes. :) leave the hair to us monkeys.
9/10/05 2:44 PM
1/4 inch. hehe
9/11/05 10:18 PM
Leg hair I can ignore for weeks, at least in the winter when there's no public display thereof -- I've got dark hair and skin the color of some blind cave fish. But the pits go every day. Sorry, just can't stand the extra stink that the hair holds onto there, even when deodorant is used. Guess I'm extra-skanky.
9/12/05 8:08 AM
I love sit-ins and protests. I vow to join the fight and not shave my stubble until you shave, too. People not having sex unite!
9/12/05 12:03 PM
Being that new hair kinda grows really really fast.. but PEAKS after about 3 weeks... eehhh.. ill got for half an inch, i mean i imagine its curly, so unless you measure each hair and divide and ...
*cough* yeahhh...
bah, i can deal with whatever hair, just as long as its not bristly like my own. fuck allll'at.
9/13/05 6:41 PM
Progress report: 1/3 inch and counting! This oughta be interesting...
9/13/05 10:48 PM
I like your blog or your hair length either way.
9/14/05 4:40 PM
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