Lies of Omission, or Just Lies?

"How long since your divorce, again?" I asked.
"Over a year. Why?" he responded.
"Nothing... just forgot there for a moment."
"I haven't. Now I get to plow a woman 16 years my junior!" His eyes twinkled as he grinned from ear to ear.
"Charming. Very charming. What happened?"
"We haven't been intimate since the kids were born. We grew apart. I don't love her any more."
"I see."
Something still didn't sit well with me, though. He still paid the mortgage on his family house, his ex-wife didn't work, and he paid all the bills. "For the kids' sake", he explained. He claimed he rented a room in Garden Grove, but always slept over at my place. We went out to eat, saw live shows, took in indie films, and spent long weekend nights in bed together. He told me about his ex-wife, and his days as a studio tech for some pretty cool bands from the past. He told me about his start-up business. He was amused that I insisted on paying my share whenever we went out together. He'd lay on the far side of the bed, stroking my cheek and telling me how gorgeous I look lying there next to him. I still couldn't shake that feeling in the back of my mind that something-- something-- wasn't quite right.
Early one morning, he called me. "I'm heading out of town for that trade show, and I wanted to call you from the airport just to hear your voice."
"Aw... I'll miss you, too! How long will you be gone?"
"A week. I'll call you first thing when I get back into town, I promise."
"OK, looking forward to it."
"You have my work number. Speaking of which, why haven't you ever used it?"
"I don't know... seems a tad presumtuous, I guess. Plus, I wouldn't want anyone I was romantically involved in calling me at work, ya know? Unless it was an emergency."
"Fair enough. I wouldn't mind, though... I like to hear your voice. Damn. I have to run... my flight's boarding. I'll call you when I get back into town. Miss you already."
"Have a great time! Talk to you soon. Take care of yourself."
Mimed kisses.
A week went by. No call.
8 days. Still nothing.
I call on day 9. Left a message.
Day 10, no response.
Day 11, I leave another message.
Days 12, 13, and 14 crawl by.
On day 15, I leave an angry message. "If you want to break it off with me, this is a pretty cruel fucking way to do it."
I never heard a word from him. A few months later, as I cleared a stack of papers from my desk, I found the number scribbled on an envelope. My curiosity piqued, I call. The operator answers, and I ask for him.
"May I ask who's calling please?" asks the operator.
I panic for a nanosecond and then blurt out my long-dormant suspicions: "Uh... his wife."
"Oh, sure, Mrs. ____. How are you? You're calling pretty early, huh?"
"Fine. Yes... I , uh... I am. Yes." I stutter.
He picks up the phone. "Hey, honey! Have you picked the kids up from practice yet?"
A moment of silence passes. I silently hang up the phone.
I've finally gotten my answer.




















35 Comments:
I want to reach out and hug you right now.
And this isn't the first post I've read from you that had this tale to tell.
I've found if you stop dating all together, its harder to get involved with married guys.
Cherish the memories of times well spent and burn the phone number - then lemme know if I can buy you a drink for being YOUR AWSOME YOU while dumped by men and bosses who don't know better.
2/13/06 2:58 PM
how did you meet this guy? at a party? at the supermarket? at a chat room perhaps? maybe in a bar or club? just wondering where most of these guys congregate.
2/13/06 3:32 PM
And then they wonder why we grow up and become cynical. Your sixth sense was screaming that something wasn't right...and your intuition was right.
Would you rather have wanted to know that he was still married up front and never had the experience at all? I would.
2/13/06 3:58 PM
Been there! That SUCKS! So sorry...
2/13/06 5:13 PM
I know it sounds naive and dumb but I would rather not know. I hate that stupid voice in my head. Sometimes I want to yell, "Would you shut up and let me get laid already?"
2/13/06 5:55 PM
just so you know, nerds who play warcraft dont' do that... just saying
2/13/06 6:22 PM
What. A. Jackass.
Sorry you had to deal with that.
That's why I just don't date. Period.
Stupid mindgames and the lying f**ks who play them...
(((hugs)))
2/13/06 6:30 PM
I agree with Sassy. I just want to hug you so bad these past few days. You poor baby. :kiss:
2/13/06 7:20 PM
Ack! Oh dear. That hurts.
2/13/06 7:39 PM
Holy SHIT!! What a fucking douchebag!
2/13/06 7:51 PM
Jerkoff extraordinaire.
Nobody should use a line like "I just wanted to hear your voice."
2/13/06 8:32 PM
Just remember that you deserve A LOT more than this. He's not worth it!
2/13/06 10:17 PM
This one asks for vengeance, doesn't it?
Do you have any romantic pictures of the two of you? Send them firts to him to make him nervous. Once he has tried to call you - let's say 150 times - without getting an answer, you finaly send them to his wife. (She has to know anyway).
2/14/06 1:57 AM
Left me speechless ... Asshole men like that !
2/14/06 3:27 AM
That is so awful. What a total wanker. On the plus side, at least you're not the wife. God that makes me so angry for you. WANKER. Grr. Take care, chin up.
2/14/06 4:10 AM
Yeah, have to agree, at least you ain't his old lady.
Fuckin' cock. If it had happened to me I could not hold back. Revenge it too sweet and I can not resist. Your a stronger person than I!
Remember...YOU ROCK!
2/14/06 4:24 AM
EEWWWW!!
That is simply awful.
I have no words.
What a disgusting little troll. I hope karma pays him a visit.
2/14/06 6:23 AM
Urgh. You poor thing. I have huge sympathy for you.
What a bastard.
2/14/06 6:55 AM
Been there (with married men), and all I can say after tons of heartache: not worth getting involved with. Better stick to looking for the next lay, it's a rare chance when you find love amongst the weeds. But you do notice the difference.
2/14/06 8:23 AM
Yeah, like Laura said - where do these cocks congregate?
2/14/06 9:16 AM
Men like that make me puke.
2/14/06 9:56 AM
I'm convinced they must be addicted to forbidden fruit, and the "danger" of possibly getting caught... jerkoff fartknockers.
2/14/06 11:05 AM
I was the 'real wife'....you should hear the lies they tell us!!!! However, HIS women knew....they were oftentimes married too....No matter....these men are bad news from either point of view....I'm sorry....been there on the other side....either way...it sucks!!
Oh..and where do they 'congregate'...ha...they are sitting right next to you...at home, at church, you name it....mine had willing partners working for him....heck, he even invited one to bring her kids to our child's birthday party during that time...I have pics that HE took of this woman w/her child on her lap...at OUR CHILD'S birthday party....I even remember my 3 year old daughter asking ME if this woman knew that her 'daddy already had a girlfriend' (ironically, she meant ME!)...I wonder where HER husband was?!?!....Don't get me started...Anyway, from MY experience, they don't have to stray far from home at all.....and they generally don't look (or ACT it on the surface) 'the type'....
Post pics...you don't know how many times I've wanted to post the pics I've discovered (or taken myself during separation)....for HER family to see...but then....I would NOT want to be responsible in any way for sharing THAT burden with anyone....though I have often wished that I could see this woman NOW...that I know...what I did not then....I'm NOT a violent person...but it's the only time I think I would want to slap someone's face....
K...breathe.....sorry....ya...it IS one of the worst nightmares ever, IMO.....Try knowing that your ex is presently living with his latest mistress in a brand new home he built for her and her three children....and they are NOT married...How do these men manage to 'have it all'?! Mind you...this is NOT the life I envy....but they typically seem to suffer no consequences!!!
Steps off her soapbox....sorry...this IS your blog...I'm sorry in more ways than you can know!!!!!!
2/14/06 12:11 PM
Oh girl. I have been on both sides of this, as the wife and as the mistress. Neither of them are any good. Actually, the both suck and just make things wonderful for the man involved.
Glad you went with your gut, doll baby. You are better than most women who would have said "screw it" and pursued him anyway.
There's better stuff around the corner for you, Avatar.
And, for me too. Tomorrow is Wednesday! *wink*
*hugs you much* You need a girls night out...badly!!!
CP.
2/14/06 7:10 PM
That totally sucks so bad. I've also been on both sides. It's painful either way. No matter what anyone comments here, it isn't going to make you feel any better. Only you can pick your head up and know you're better off without his ass.
2/14/06 8:14 PM
SERIOUSLY MISSING the cockblog of the day....oh Avatar? Where art thou??? LOL
2/15/06 9:42 AM
K, call me a bitch but I'd be asking the secretary to tell hubby to call me back immediatly cause it's an 'emergency' then hanging up before she can transfer your call to him.
Wouldn't the wife wonder what the hell was up when moments later hubby called wanting to know what was wrong.
I hate that women are in the dark about their men's 'extra-curriculers'. It's never better to Not know the truth.
xxx Grumps xxx
2/15/06 10:16 AM
Cyber Erotic: GREAT idea. Like how your mind works.
Avatar: so sorry this happened to you...please keep on truckin! I hate to think that you could be defeated by a BAD MAN, such as this one...Lick your wounds and move on!
2/15/06 10:32 AM
Right now I'm picturing Mr. Assbag as a dandelion in front of me. His body is the stem and his head and face are the flower. I encircle the fingers of my left hand around the base and flick off the head of the flower with the fingers of my right. When the flower hits the ground I squash it like a contemptible insect with my boot. The rest I toss in the trash with the maggots. There. I feel a little better.
2/15/06 11:05 AM
Yah, that really sucks. I've been there too, like many who have posted, on both sides of the fence.
Sounds to me like his wife figured out what was going on and put the kibosh on it.
Gut instinct is a great tool in our arsenal. ALWAYS listen to it. It has served me well.
big hug to ya. Take care!
2/15/06 3:43 PM
It seems that every one of your female readers has "been there", normaly on "both sides"; And no one is suggesting to "kill" the guy or something. Actually, what happened seems to be pretty normal where you live...
You should still consider cyber erotics idea. At least. Shouldn't you?
2/16/06 10:23 AM
What we have in 'common' seems to be...MEN....and yes, it seems 'normal' for many of them to behave this way, unfortunately....ha!!
2/16/06 4:32 PM
Actually, I should pass along that my therapist (ha!!) replaces the word 'normal' with 'typical' which does seem to apply!! :))
2/16/06 4:34 PM
i like to think that its just lies been there once twice too many times seems like am a magent for this- trust too easy but i have learnt to confront staright up oin his face and let him know that i knw.The downside is that now i suspect evey one of them. tis life tis sad tis f*cked. Seems you hav had a rought couple of days pole sana and "still i rise-maya just for you.
2/19/06 8:07 AM
It would have been at that very moment that I paid a little visit to the "Mrs". Or at least made a little phone call - don't need a psycho wife going ape-shit.
10/19/07 12:40 PM
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