Care And Feeding Of The Excited Vagina

1. Keep your hands fastidiously clean and your nails trimmed, not bitten. I cannot stress this enough. In fact, file them if you have to.
   
2. Do the humidity test with one finger. If she's not slippery on the inside, either step up your foreplay or break out the K-Y.
3. Lick your fingers before you insert them. It'll make a world of difference upon entry. For extra points, try letting her lick them for you.
   
4. For the love of all things holy, bend your damn fingers! Keeping them rigidly straight and not adjusting to her interior contours is a Very Bad Idea. A pokey, painful very bad idea.
5. If she curves upward, insert palm side up and curl your fingers. If she curves downwards, insert palm side down and curl your fingers. If she curves to the side... improvise.
6. Take your time. She's not asphalt, and you're not a jackhammer. There's no need to fingerbang like hummingbirds on crystal meth.
7. Two is a good place to start. Use your index and middle fingers. If she asks for one more finger, comply using the ring finger, but do it slowly. And make sure to follow the steps above.
8. Don't go for broke; If fisting wasn't negotiated beforehand, it's very bloody unlikely you can just transition from a mild fingerbang into "Fisting Lessons" territory. Take my advice: leave that shit to the pros.
9. Gentle pressure from a flattened palm pressing down on her pubic bone while you stroke her G-spot can be a good thing, but pay close attention, as certain positions will require a lot less pressure than you think before becoming downright painful.
10. If she says "don't stop", don't stop. Trust me. I don't care if your arm is about to fall off. Mind over matter, my friend. And she'll thank you in her own way later.
11. Don't forget about the rest of her body. You've got a hand free, and she's got breasts and warm abdominal skin that crave your caresses.
    
12. And especially don't forget the clit. That's what your thumb is for.
13. If she wants to lick your fingers after she climaxes, she'll reach for your hand. It's tacky to offer it to her otherwise.
    
14. Above all, listen to her. Don't ask direct questions... just listen. She'll give you plenty of useful feedback, trust me. Only she can tell you how to do it exactly how she likes it.