Jot This Down
Since we're all (I assume) adults here, with at least a few years of sexual experience under our belts, I'm sure we've all got-- tucked away in the damp, dark recesses of our minds next to hot-teacher's rock-hard nipples and your very first handjob-- something we know now that we wish we'd known then.
I had this very discussion with a friend recently, along the lines of "Letters To Your 15-y-old Self", and we shared the facts that both hindsight and just plain grown-up common sense had taught us, among them:
- You can get pregnant/impregnate the first time. At least one girl from your high school is proof of this.
- Just because a guy/girl has sex with you doesn't mean he/she loves you.
- No matter how undesireable you think you are, someone somewhere will either fall in unrequited love with you or lie to his/her friends about having sex with you, or both.
- Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of.
- That being said, there's a time and a place to discuss everything. In front of the nun teaching you health science at Catholic school is not one of them.
- When the topic of discussion turns to lesbianism, don't hold up your hand if you don't know what it means.
- Keep your mouth shut about experimentation with anything (drugs, alcohol, sex or otherwise) as kids can be very cruel and you won't be able to shake a hideous reputation for the rest of the school year.
- The guy sitting behind you in homeroom and snapping the straps of your training bra does so because he's intrigued by you. Try not to punch him in the face and bruise his orbital fossae in the process.
- Band geeks and drama geeks are way more promiscuous than the jocks and cheerleaders. The band geeks in particular tend to be way more incestuous than you can imagine.
- Science nerds, on the other hand, never get laid.
- Periods are nothing to be ashamed of.
- Neither are class-time erections.
- Unless they belong to the teacher.
- And you're in an all-girl PE class.
posted by Avatar at 7:08 PM
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21 Comments:
If the only other erections you see are in porn films, it doesn't mean you're undersized. You aren't.
5/1/06 9:59 PM
Wanting to have sex with another boy in your class, whilst attending a single sex boarding school, is normal. Doesn't neccessarily mean you're gay.
5/2/06 1:10 AM
Your penis will naturally lean either to the left or the right. This is nothing to do with that fact that you masturbate. Switching to the other hand will not make it go back towards the middle.
If anyone tells you that it's safe even without a condom because they've never done it with anyone else before, they're probably lying.
When a girl says no she means no, even if your friends have told you otherwise.
There is much less to be ashamed about than you might think. You and your life aren't very important to most people, so if you make a fool of yourself in front of people to whom you mean nothing, don't worry about it.
5/2/06 1:44 AM
Hilarious ... ! But, “science nerds” do get laid ... ;-) LOL - A
5/2/06 4:16 AM
Hooray! You're back!
I TOTALLY agree with your description of drama geeks - you'll be hard pressed to find a woman that enjoys sex more. Chances are you'll find one that's going to give even the horniest art geek a run for his money.
Here's another: Do NOT pass up an opportunity to dance with the sort-of, might-be, kinda attractive girl in junior high - she will almost always turn out to be the hottest girl in the class when you graduate. Invariably she will say to you on graduation day, "I've always had a crush on you - I wish in 8th grade you would have danced with me. Who knows where it would have led..." Hearing this will make your still-virginal penis do flip-flops for about 2 years afterwards.
Not that I know from experience on these items or anything...
5/2/06 5:36 AM
Good to see you back. Hope things are going better.
* * *
I would have joined band.
5/2/06 8:24 AM
"...If anyone tells you that it's safe even without a condom because they've never done it with anyone else before, they're probably lying"
Couldn't have said it better myself qenny.
Great to see you're back!
5/2/06 9:02 AM
having successfully masterbated for the first time does NOT mean youre no longer a virgin so dont brag to your friends about it!
this was a good post. welcome back
5/2/06 10:38 AM
How about a plain old
"Welcome back."
You`ve been missed!
5/2/06 1:57 PM
Just because your friends haven't done or tried the things you have doesn't mean you're wierd or a whore.
Experimentation is good and natural.
5/2/06 3:39 PM
Wow, I guess I'm still "intriguing" :D
I guess I just wish I could tell myself that sex before the age of 21 is almost pointless for a girl...
5/2/06 4:15 PM
What a great post to fire up your return!
5/2/06 5:35 PM
Something I wish I knew in grade 9: Boys don't care if your hair is poufy; all they care about is if you have a semi-functioning vagina.
5/2/06 9:33 PM
Missed you much Avatar...
Me at 15 would hear that people will make fun of band geeks for being sluts so its ok to ask out that guy you have a crush on.
That mormons aren't the ones to joke about sleep overs with because the ones in college won't appreciate the inuendo like you want them too.
Its ok that you found the Playboy channel and have mental pictures of sex - you will be appreciated beyond your wildest brace faced dreams soon enough.
Keep mastubating - you'll find out that its cheaper to buy a wrist brace than anti-depressants when you need to.
He is looking at your boobs. He knows when your in the pushup. Buy a Vneck and play a little.
They are more scared than you. Just put your hand out and grab them and they will know its ok to ask for second base.
5/2/06 10:19 PM
All the bad dates, loser boys and unsatisfying relationships are just your chance to learn and grow. You'll know who, what and where to avoid, and be able to recognize what you want when you find it.
5/2/06 10:31 PM
Haha, funny post!
5/3/06 5:09 AM
Band geeks usually turn out to be Rock stars, or some faction of it with a n onstage life. Get in on it while you can.
Former band geek,
ace
5/3/06 9:01 AM
No matter HOW much you like beef jerky - DONT DO IT!!!
5/3/06 4:23 PM
Fifteen... yeah, that's enough time.
Dude, there's a girl coming called Candice. You're going to be all crazy for her. Listen close.
Fool around with her. A lot. Like, six months. Then dump her. Trust me, you'll be better off.
5/5/06 8:23 PM
my advice:
all the movies you watch are lies, the good honest guy who does everything right will lose. you have to be a jerk sometimes.
5/6/06 1:10 PM
Welcome back and fantastic post!
Church sleepovers are not the ideal time for experimentation, but they might be the only time, so take advantage of what you can get.
Don't tell the adolescent boys that want to have sex with you that you're sleeping with someone who's got 10+ years on them.
Makeshift toys are never as much fun as good ol' fashioned manual stimulation. Don't bother with them until you can purchase some real ones.
During class discussions, never yell at your classmates. This is a big(ger) 'no no' if you end up yelling, "You all need to get laid!"
One more: It's okay to ask for some in return. :)
5/8/06 9:38 PM
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