Carrier Pigeon

"Oh, hi."

"'Oh, hi?' What's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"Uh... I haven't heard from you in weeks! No response to my phone calls, e-mails, my IMs, my text messages... nothing. Count yourself damn lucky that I'm not the kind of woman who'll drive by your house."

"Oh, right..."

"So, what's your excuse?"

"Uh, I though you knew."

"...knew what?"

"We're, uh... we're broken up."

---pause---

"Excuse me?"

"I thought you knew."

"I'm sorry... You 'thought I knew'?!?"

"Well yeah. I mean, I did say I'd call you."

"And I was supposed to know you wanted out because you promised you'd call me?"

"I guess. I mean, I did say it in a weird way..."

Wow. I've heard of breaking up via phone, e-mail, or even text message, but breaking up via allusive intonation? That's a new one! Silly me. Here, I always maintained that a breakup should be assertive, precise, concise, and have all the subltety of a fucking tomahawk to the forehead.