10 lbs. of crap...

...in a 5 lb. bag. That's how I feel.

I woke up with the very distressing combination of the following:

• feeling like I've been throat-raped by a sandpaper dick
• what felt like the contents of a liquefied, putrid honeydew melon hopelessly clogging my sinuses
• pinprick headaches (tiny, focused pains felt throughout my brain) that I suspect are the direct result of a bout of sleep apnea due to the aforementioned congestion
• blocked and severely inflamed Eustachian tubes
• a moderate fever
  
• the realization that I'd started my period a week-and-a-half early and was bleeding like a post-matador-fight bull, not to mention the agonizing cramps and, uh... other stuff that come with

Suffice it to say that the above, coupled with a wealth of offline personal upheavals, means that I really, truly don't feel like writing. At all.

I'll be back when I feel better. Could be a couple of days, could be a week. Right now, I just need to rest and get better.

Edited for those who asked: CBW will be here as expected tomorrow. I'm just talking about my semi-regular (self-involved, navel-gazing, drowning-in-the-dating-pool, fuck the double standard, woe-is-me, rah-rah girl power) essays.